Wednesday, March 2, 2011

nourishment for the soul

It's March? and well.. it's cold outside. and when I say cold, I mean burr, like shivering spine when you step outside the door. It's like my dress selection in my so called "closet" is silently yelling at me for rarely being picked to wear. My heels aren't as mad as, I try to wear them daily in hopes that Spring will recognize my loyalty to the sun and feel bad for holding out on me, and then let the sun come early.. sadly I don't think this is going to happen, as the forecast say its supposed to rain/"snow" for the ten days...

This year I made several resolutions, two of which go hand in hand with one another, which I made to "help" me get through this season of winter whining.. and surprisingly, they are totally working :)

The first was that I wanted to make a cookbook. yeah yeah yeah, so julie and julia, i know, such a copy cat. But whatever. So in the past month I've conquered soup, some shrimp, truffles and a sweet pie. (pictures and recipes will come soon)

The second was to embrace the cold. At first when I made this goal, I was thinking to myself, "yeah right, I wont actually do this". Surprisingly though, I totally have, and it's seemed to replenish my soul each time. So when I say, "embrace the cold", I mean, get off my ass and go outside whether its raining or not, and work off the fabulous food that I stewed up in the kitchen the night before. 

On my most current outside adventure, I had an epiphany. 

I went to discovery park (one of my most recent favorite parks), and I hiked a few miles down to this light house on the edge of the Puget Sound waters. When I started this stroll, my phone left in my car and my keys in my sweatshirt pocket, my mind was like a roller coaster of questions that I continually kept asking myself... Mind I add that the sky was clouded gray as usual... Right before I started down the steep trail through the trees to the beach, I asked the lord to guide me. To guide my life in the direction it was meant to go. To answer these questions I had. To let me know faith was real because I had be lead so astray from my faith, especially after my ex Tyron took his life, leaving me left with so many questions that could not be answered... or, so I thought.. anyways.. I start down the trail and am just completely lost in my thoughts.. It's like I was singing the Pixies song, "Where is my mind".. I was thinking real hard life questions wondering why they arent being answered... I finally get down to the entrance to the beach, and as I was walking on the sand to get to the light house, the clouds began to break..

 This caught my eye, obviously, as sun always does. But this really had my attention. Simply because the day was so cloudy on the verge of dumping down rain like a waterfall.. I was wondering how the weather could just change like that? and then it hit me.

"The questions that lurk in the shadows shall come to light"

I kept this thought in  my head the entire hike back up the trail trying to figure out what I was trying to be told. 
Meanwhile, I get almost to the top of the trail and realize that my keys that I had placed in my pocket, were no longer there. I panic'd for a quick second pissed off thinking to myself, "seriously!!, do I really have to hike  back down this steep ass trail that I am exhausted from to try to "look" for my keys that are going to be impossible to find.??" I then cussed a few foul words to myself and asked myself continually, "if I were my keys, where would i be? in a good f*ucking hiding spot probably".. I said this several times and then calmed myself back down with the same thought I had down at the beach, "The questions that lurk in the shadows shall come to light".

It was obvious. God was totally speaking to me. He was answering me in the biggest way without saying a word. Simply because he didn't have to. So I quit my freak out, and put my faith in Him that I would find my lost keys. The clouds that broke free down at the water were now breaking further up the trail towards my car.. As I walked, I was looking left and right down at the ground for my keys.. and suddenly, I look up and the sun is shining, and I'm starring at a bench. I walk up to the bench, and was in completely shock not only because the sun was blaring through the clouds, but shocked because there lay my keys. On a bench, that I never sat or stopped at on the way down. I thought to myself, holy shit, I just had an epiphany. When I started my hike I was asking all these questions wondering if I was being heard. And I completely got answered. From questions of where are my keys, to asking for the sun to shine to get me through this whining winter season, to the question of is my faith being heard. It totally was. God or whoever it is out there wanted it to be known that my questions I was asking in dark came to light when they needed to. My faith is heard loud and clear, Spring is coming, and my keys, well they were on the bench. like, duh!

I get back to my car and had this amazing feeling inside. It was like weight lifted off my back. Weight that just got lifted off by faith. Faith letting me know, I wasn't alone. It was like nourishment to the soul.


I will keep this thought close with me;

"The questions that lurk in the shadows shall come to light"

No comments:

Post a Comment